On Thursday, I was sick so I was not able to come into work. I then returned on Friday. However, he was starting to act strange again and did not want to be near me. I figured it was because he was mad at me for not being there on Thursday. I was trying to get him to go to his mat for nap time, but he refused. As we were sitting and listening to story with the Pre-K children, both my co-teacher and I gave him many warnings about how he would have to leave if he starts playing with the toys because its story time. After the last warning. He fought with me and made a commotion about leaving. I had to physically pick him up and take him out of the classroom, he then was able to hit me on the face a few times. That really frustrated me, but I took a breath and calmly but firmly told him "Please do not hit me, you are hurting me and it makes me sad." He felt guilty after awhile, but he still was not listening to me. Today was the first time ever since I started in the preschool field, even as an aide, where I thought I give up. My friend then sent me this quote, and it has stuck to me all day.
Some of you ask how I would create an work environment where my staff would never feel attacked or targeted like how I was. I simply feel like no workplace should ever be that way, but unfortunately, there are. I feel like there are people who just take authority in a different matter, and how people take what you say is something to consider. Sometimes, what you think is funny may be offensive to others. Which is why it is important to get to know each staff member and be professional at work because we never know what could be offensive to a person. I would love to have a great support system for the staff. Where the staff feels comfortable discussing work related issues to each other and provide feedback and help. I am lucky that I do have that, but sometimes I do feel alone. With the three sides to the triangle, they are all equally important, but they all somehow tie into each other.
I know I am not ready to run a preschool, I am still figuring out how to be a teacher. We all make mistakes and I think with a good support system and good communication, it would slowly work out. In the ECE field, there are always something different that happens and everyday is a surprise. So as a director, I feel that it is important for them to be prepared for anything to happen!
Hi Monica, I can relate to you completely. First, sometimes even if we read the text and the assignment, we are going through some turbulence in our professional lives that seem more urgent to share or to ask for help. It is hard also to put ourselves in the "director's shoes" when we are still trying to figure it out our paths as teachers. I feel that these blogs offer these venue for us to get support and help from fellow colleges in our profession. Building community also means taking care of the staff, and if you are not well, the director should know about it to help you.
ReplyDeleteI had to deal with a child with similar behavior issues and trust me, getting hit almost daily without understanding the reason was EXTREMELY frustrating! I remember going to the bathroom to cry on several occasions. He would be so sweet one day, and the next he would hit the adults and children as well. It is hard not to take it personally when you get slapped in the face, but what you did was great. That is what we always did as well, keeping calm and composure and explaining that he was hurting us. I was assigned to shadow him, so I got most of the blows and bites. We documented every single event. Make sure you document it too, as it could help finding out the triggers. In our case we found out there were none in particular, it was random. But we used the documentation to be consistent with all staff members, and it helped us to learn how to deal.
Sadly, we endured this behavior for over a year. We tried every single technique possible to no avail. The mother did not want to take the child to therapy or allow the child to be assessed. The parents were divorced and did not agree on what to do, which did not help us, and of course just made it worse for the child.
Unfortunately, after a gazillion meetings it got to a point that it was unsustainable we had to ask them to leave the program.
From what I gathered it was the first time ever that the program asked a family to leave in 20 something years. It was a sad situation all around, but the Director absolutely had to do something to protect the other children and the staff.
Have you talked to your director about it? Did you meet with the family? What would you do if you were the director in this situation?
Hi Monica,
ReplyDeleteHow does relationship play a part in the actions within an early childhood setting? How might the relationships offer a space for discussing practices, experiences with children and families, and doubts as a teacher? What is the role of the director in supporting an early childhood setting with a space as I previously describe? If you consider your experience as you depict in your posting, what would you have hoped from a director? Are there actions, policies, practices that would have helped support you in these moments? What would you have done as a director? In considering this from another perspective, what would you have established as a director in order to support this teacher? What role would genuine listening play in ensuring the support of teachers, children, and families in an early childhood setting?
Cheers,
Jeanne
Hi Monica,
ReplyDeleteI think it's great how you utilized the blog to reach out for support from your peers. I think we've all encountered difficult situations where we just needed to vent or gain someone else's perspective on the situation. This situation may or may not be unique, but either way, it's hard. The best think to do is to keep the best interest of the child as the first priority and really utilize resources as they are available. I don't work in a school, but I face difficult situations daily. I wouldn't be at the position I'm in if I didn't have the support of my peers around me. I think you're fantastic! Don't let situations like this ruin your day.
Thank,
Katie
Hi Monica,
ReplyDeleteI agree that not everyday at work is perfect. There are days that I feel drained and a certain child I just having a bad day and is creating a difficult environment. Why is the child in your classroom acting up? Is it the environment? The lack of the teacher assistant’s presence in the classroom? Maybe something is occurring at home? There can be many possibilities as to why that child is behaving strangely.
But usually when a child is acting up and you are having a tough day, I would hope that your other staff members could help you and relieve that stress. There are days in the classroom where I can see the stress and difficult in another staff’s body motions and facial expressions. When I see that they need help, I try to take on more of the difficult situations (ex: a child throwing a tantrum and screaming).
Thank you for sharing that with us. It takes so much patience and understanding to work with children, especially children with behavior issues like the one you've mentioned. I'm at a point too where I don't always know how to respond to such extreme children, I can't just pick them up and talk to them outside. I'm six months pregnant and have to be very careful! I can't risk getting kicked or punched so I have to ask the other teachers around me for help. I am sorry you feel like you can't really talk to your other staff members. That's awful! But don't give up trying to communicate with them. This is serious and needs to be talked about. I agree with you when you say you're not ready to run your own preschool, that you're still trying to figure out how to be a teacher. I feel the same way. I feel like everyday I get better at this, that I'm always improving, but I'm still not there yet. I just want you to know you're not alone in your thoughts on all this, that I can relate to some of it too. I hope you can find a way to make it all better for yourself, the other staff, and for the children. How can you change this situation around? What other 'guidance' strategies could you try? How can you get the child's family, and the rest of your school to support you?
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are feeling better about the situation now. I have doubted myself many times and still do. I try and learn from those situations.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is very important among the staff. I always try and "check in" in make sure my coworkers are OK and comfortable with the situation hope the child gets the help he need.
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ReplyDeleteAloha Monica,
ReplyDeleteIn this situation it seems that maybe there are relationships issues as well? I've come to realize from chapter 3, that building and sustaining relationships between staff and between children can be very similar. How did you develop relationships with your staff? How can you relate to this child? How do you think he can relate to you? As we learn, relate and understand each individual child, what other strategies (outside of what works for most children) that you could use that works well for him?
Chloe